


Slipping

by AnakinBiwalker



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I Love Projecting Onto Lance, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) Has ADHD, M/M, Trans Pidge | Katie Holt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-10-22 07:04:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10692159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnakinBiwalker/pseuds/AnakinBiwalker
Summary: just. a lot of lance angst?lance is depressed and dealing with his insecurities alone. the other paladins are beginning to worry about their friend.





	1. Lance Isn't Doing That Great

Lance knew he wasn't doing..great. It would be an understatement to say he was having a bad day. It felt more like a bad year, or life. 

That's the thing about sadness, about Lance at least, is that it ruins everything else. He could barely recall feeling happy. Feeling wanted. Feeling. Not this. 

He blamed it on space. It was too big and imposing and, of course, it would make anyone feel small. Insignificant. Useless. 

Useless. 

Not like Shiro, their leader. Or Keith. Or Hunk. Or Pidge and Allura. Even Coran, someone who didn't even pilot Voltron, was more important than him. 

"Lance?" 

He had been staring, he realized. 

He looked to his left, to Keith. Right. Dinner. He was supposed to be eating the gloop. 

Lance took his spoon and scooping the goo into his mouth rather than acknowledge Keith was trying to talk to him. 

He was spacing out more and more recently. 

"Lance," Keith tried again. He was concerned, expression softening as he looked at Lance. 

Lance took another bite of goo. It felt thicker than normal, harder to force down. 

"Dude," Pidge said, drawing Lance's eyes to her. 

"Keith's trying to talk to you," she said, poking Lance in the shoulder. She was worried, too. He could tell. 

He was slipping, again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my chapters will be short just a warning


	2. Lance is Angry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the paladins begin bugging lance and he overreacts

Keith was still waiting for a response, and now he had Pidge watching him, too. On top of that, he could almost feel Shiro trying to act like he wasn't listening in. 

"Sorry, Keith," Lance said, aiming for nonchalance, "What were you saying?" He grinned. It felt funny on his face. Crooked. 

"Just, you werd kind of." Keith waved his hand, brows furrowed. 

"Uh?" 

"Drifting," Keith said, "You looked out of it." Not one to show too much genuine concern, Keith cleared his throat before adding: 

"I didn't want you to face plant in the goo. Maybe you should get some rest." Still, too concerned. 

Lance rolled his eyes. "I have an amazing sleep schedule, something you wouldn't understand." He forced another spoonful of goo down. 

"I agree with Keith," Shiro said. He must have given up on staying out of it. 

"Yeah," Pidge said, "You don't look that good." 

Lance tried not to scowl. Of course. "I'm not tired, guys. I slept fine." 

"Then you must be exhausted from the last mission," Shiro said. "You have to admit you have been 'drifting' like Keith said." 

Shiro always managed to make everything feel like a lecture. Even this. 

Lance didn't feel like being scolded for something he wasn't even doing wrong. 

"Fine." He dropped his spoon onto the table, letting it bounce onto the floor. 

"Woah, Lance," Hunk said, drawn into the conversation by the noise. Allura, too, glanced their way. 

"No, it's okay. I'll just leave everyone to eat in peace." He sounded angrier than he meant to. 

He turned away and began to walk, ignoring the concerned calls of his teammates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my feeling is that lance is depressed and RSD is making everything worse 
> 
> (RSD, or rejection sensitive dysphoria, is experienced by people with ADHD. it makes them respond strongly to percieved (even if it's not there) criticism or rejection strongly in ways that can be hard to cope with)


	3. Lance is(n't) Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lance runs off and coran pursues

Lance didn't stop running until he made it back to his room, afraid that someone would be coming after him (or even worse, they weren't). 

He locked the doors and then dropped to the floor. His body felt weak, too light and boneless. He was a ghost. A spectre. Already half-dead. 

"God," Lance said, voice quiet. He pressed his palms into his eyes, as if to will the sadness away. 

"I can't do this," he said, "I can't. Not here." 

He mumbled some others words, rambling to himself, unable to sit there in the quiet. 

It made him feel even more alone. 

He was crying when someone tapped gently on the door. He hadn't realized he was crying until then. He wondered how long he'd actually been sitting on the floor. His legs felt numb. 

"Lance?" Coran asked, "You gave Shiro quite a fright. Me, too." 

Lance pressed his hand into his mouth. He choked on a small sob. Coran cared. He cared. Coran came to check on him. 

"Are you there?" Coran asked, voice growing even softer. "Just knock if you're listening." 

He smacked a shaky hand against the door. 

He heard Coran chuckle. "There you are." 

"What happened just now?" Coran continued, "You snapped at Shiro." 

He waited for a response, patient and understanding as always. "You don't want to talk. That's okay. I'm here." 

Lance didn't say anything and neither did Coran. He knew without knowing that Coran had sat down at the door. Back to back. 

Lance rested his head against the door. 

He didn't feel so lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love coran y'all


	4. Space Isn't Simple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lance tries to talk things out with coran

Both Coran and Lance sat like that: no words, just the quiet and the door between them. 

He felt more calm. His emotions were still running wild, but that wasn't something Lance really expected to get a handle on just because Coran was there. 

He shifted around, pressing his knuckles into his thighs. Grazing them back and forth. Clenching and unclenching his hands. 

Finally, he got back to his feet. He hesitated, then spoke: "You can come in, if you want." 

A second later, the door to his room slid open. Coran smiled at him before he entered the room, the door shutting behind him. 

"Feeling up to talking?" Coran asked. "Or did you just want my soothing presence?" He gave Lance a wink, lessening the tension. 

Lance laughed, though without the energy he usually had. 

He took a seat on his bed, and Coran joined him. The lapsed into silence again, Coran knowing Lance would share with him when he felt comfortable to do so. 

"I think I'm too small," Lance said, before stopping, pausing to reconsider his wording. 

"No, that's not it. I'm-" He rubbed his knuckles against his thighs again. "Everything's big and significant. And I feel. Not." 

"Lance-" 

"But not all the time! That's the frustrating part. It just creeps up on me and suddenly I'm in the middle of space and everything is crushing me." 

"Why do I feel like that?" 

Coran studied him. "You have the entire universe on your shoulders, Lance. I can think of a reason or two." 

Lance sighed. It was never that simple. He was never that simple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *~projecting onto characters is The Real Coping Mechanism~*


	5. i love shiro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> big bro shiro is on the case

Coran had left him alone sometime ago, giving him space, a place to think. It felt good to know he had someone there for him. 

But, the feeling didn't lessen. It was still like a shadow over him, oe he couldn't find the end of. 

Lance rolled over on his bed, taking the blankets with him. He wrapped them tight. He was safe there. No worries. Just him and his blankets. 

He slept through the rest of the night and the next morning, undisturbed. 

He was woken up by a few taps on his door. He blinked his eyes a few times to focus, then, blankets still wrapped around him, he got off the bed and shuffled over. 

The door slid open, and there was Shiro. 

"Oh, Shiro," Lance said, straightening up. He dropped the blankets, and tried to look somewhat more put together. He ran a hand through his hair. 

"What are you, uh, doing here?" Lance asked. 

Shiro's expression was sad, disappointed. At Lance? Himself? He couldn't tell. 

"I'm here, because I'm worried about you," Shiro said, "You ran off and hid in your room all day. You missed breakfast."

Lance rubbed the back of his neck. "Did I?" 

"Can I come in?" Shiro asked. 

Lance nodded, shuffling aside for him.

Shiro stood in front of him, a calming, supportive presence. He was different from Coran, less fatherly. More...approachable? 

"I understand wanting to lock yourself away sometimes," Shiro said, "because it's easy to just succumb to how you're feeling. But Lance, if something's wrong, you can talk to me." 

"I'm not sure you can help me," Lance said. 

Shiro smiled, a sad half-smile. "Lance, I've been there. Maybe I don't know exactly how you're feeling, but I've been in a dark place before. Sometimes, I still am." 

Of course he did, Lance realized. He was held prisoner by the Galra. What was Lance thinking? 

"Thanks, Shiro. I don't know if...I want to talk right now, but thanks." 

Shiro clapped his hand on his shoulder. "How about grabbing some food, huh?" 

Lance nodded. "Okay."


End file.
